I don’t know how long ago it was I first heard someone refer to the “seasons of life”. I mean, I’m sure I had heard people talk about life in those terms before, but I think that because of the circumstances of life of that time (3 kids in 3.5 years = almost drowning), it was incredibly hopeful to think of life in terms of seasons. In the midst of extreme chaos (like constantly cleaning up poop off of the floor), it helped to remind myself that this will not last forever, it’s just a season.
I often like to look at old pictures to remind myself how, even though I was convinced life was always going to be that way, it inevitably changes.
*Like the season where I was living without a car, in a walled city, with 2 kids, learning Arabic and picking out my live chicken to watch it be killed, de-feathered and handed to me in a bag 5 minutes later. I truly thought that season would never end, I would never learn Arabic and I would never get used to shopping/cooking in such a foreign culture. And yet, now I’m having trouble going to the grocery store in America and I’m having culture shock all over again.
*Like the season of having 3 kids under 3 and a half. I often wondered why people used to look at us like we were CRAZY when we traveled, and now I look at that picture and don’t have to wonder anymore! Who is this girl?!? She WAS crazy. I’m pretty sure I lived in a state of blissful ignorance for about 6 years.
*Like the season when the only way to stay sane was to buckle the baby in the booster seat and give everyone food. This was always my go-to. Food = Silence
So as we have embarked on completely starting over: new place, new people, new home, new normal; This is what Jay and I keep reminding each other…”It’s just a season”. We had all of these idealistic dreams, plans, hopes about what life would look like in Arizona, and honestly, the most important pieces of our move here have met expectations. But there have been a couple of things that have not quite fallen into place like we thought, and for that we just trust, and pray, and remind ourselves, “It’s just a season”. One those things has been a job for me. I cannot get a job. It’s almost become humorous. I think that I’m 0-12, not kidding. We had pretty much figured out what we needed to live, and were pretty convinced that me working was a non-negotiable. And honestly, I couldn’t wait! I figured all three kids would be in school and I would leave the house and be a life-changer (ok, maybe not really – but that’s what I told myself). But then we decided not to put Hannah in pre-school, and I couldn’t get a job, so here we are.
And yet, in the midst of it, there is peace. I can’t really describe it. We are not walking this journey alone and we can absolutely trust that we are being taken care of. We have already seen this over and over and over again. And I also have a sense that this season may actually be a gift. I read this in the Message translation a couple of weeks ago, and it spoke so clearly to me.
“True to your Word, you let me catch my breath and send me in the right direction. ” Psalm 23
I am literally brought to tears when I read that. While in my mind, this season should be about starting over, finding jobs, settling in; Jesus is giving me this season as a gift to take a deep breath, slow down, and listen. We have vague ideas about who we are, what we’ve learned the past 5 years of living in such intensity, and where we want to go, but really we need to be SENT in the right direction. And I don’t want to set out on my own. The world is telling me, “Get a job! So you can buy more things!” but I believe Jesus is telling me, “Embrace My gift of rest, trust, and just learn to breathe deeply once again.”
So I’m choosing to see this season as my season of Breathing Deeply. And it’s definitely a daily choice of choosing to see it in that light.
What does this season look like for you?!